I’m sure that Homer would approve of the anonymous name - Doh.

In most respects the resume is pretty good. Unfortunately, that does not include the most important respect - PARs and SARs. You use some PARs and SARs, but they could be much stronger, especially with regard to metrics. Fortunately you have plenty of ammunition. Here's an example:

Original:

Assisted in reforming HS ITD organizational structure resulting in better workflow and chain of command.

Improved Version (use real numbers):

Facilitated reform of IT organizational structure resulting in 20% reduced handling and more rational chain of command.

I made a few other changes besides the metrics to make points that might not be appropriate here, so feel free to change them back. "Assist" is a weak action verb, but if you can't find a better one it's adequate. "Facilitate" isn't the strongest of verbs either, but better than "assist". I replaced "HS ITD" jargon with "IT", which is meaningful to most people. You have to be the judge if that's an appropriate change in your circumstances.

Here's a bullet point that is just begging to be turned into a PAR/SAR. You are always expected to do your job, but accomplishing something is always more impressive.

Project manager of $2M IT desktop service migration of a newly acquired hospital.

This would be much better:

Project manager of $2M IT desktop service migration of a newly acquired hospital brought in 100% within budget.

Actually that's not much of an accomplishment and "100%" is redundant, but with IT projects, staying within budget is not always easy. It would be much better if you could add something like "...despite encountering significant unanticipated difficulties." (Be prepared to describe the difficulties in an interview). Of course, if the reality is 90% of budget, use it!

The most important other shortcoming is the lack of a headline. How about " ITD Manager" or in light of my previous comment about jargon how about "IT Manager??

Stylistically you have a little room for improvement. "Personal Statement" should be "Profile" or "Summary". If you prefer, the section doesn't even need a title. You should also double space the line after section titles.

Wow, that sounds rough! You could be me, at least from a background perspective, so I may have more insight than usual. I also can claim Six Sigma Green Belt, SOX, streamlining business metrics analysis, entrepreneurial mindset, computer/software skills and inherent analytical capabilities, outside sales, marketing management, high-level client relationship-building, advanced-level MS Excel and MS Access. My SOX experience was more on creating the framework and project management side, but I also had a bit of auditing.

The most important difference is that I'm employed (as a senior operations executive), but I'd be scared as hell if I was on the job market now. I'd have the added challenge of age discrimination - but you seem to be in your late thirties, so that should not be an issue. You still have major challenges because not only does the job market suck the proverbial big one, but the demand for your lead skills has diminished considerably. Up to three years ago I constantly had recruiters chasing me for SOX jobs, but I haven't heard from one in almost two years. The Six Sigma Green Belt was always a nice little add-on for the resume, but the companies most interested in Six Sigma are looking for black belts (becoming a black belt might help). You are obviously over-qualified for the lower level positions. Most employers will be worried that you'll skip out the first chance you get and they do not have any imagination about the extras that you bring to the table.

In a nutshell, you have skills, but they don't necessarily focus on what the employer wants. That is the story that your resume tells. It may cover some of the employer's needs, but not in any way that indicates that you are good, or at least competent. Instead you emphasize some things that should be a given for someone at your level and the fact that you emphasize them raises alarm bells because the employer is not thinking of the issue at the resume stage. Start with taking out things like "Spotless criminal, driving and employment records" and don't bring their attention to the employment gap. Those are interview issues, but only if the interviewer brings them up.

Frankly, I can't imagine how you obtained over a hundred interviews with this resume - that's better than a 10% hit rate. Of course the staffing agencies will interview almost anybody on spec in case an appropriate job comes up, so that explains some of the interviews. Also, if you interview as well as you claim, it seems that someone would have hired you, so you may want to revisit some of your interview assumptions. You may be good from a process perspective, but what about content? Are you telling them too much like you do in the resume? Do you ask questions about the company and correlate the answer with how you could bring value? Have you researched the hell out of the company so the questions that you ask demonstrate great insight?

If you have been doing these kind of things, then you have to face the reality that every job is probably getting hundreds of applicants with up to 20 interviewees per job. That give you a 5% chance once you make it to the interview. You not only have to interview well, but show how you bring something extra and essential, and that you fit the job and company like a glove. In my experience as an interviewer, I try to look at these issues more than the quality of the interview skills - except when that type of skill is important to the job such as in sales.

Back to the resume - I have no idea what you've accomplished and the value that you've brought to your employers. You also don't show anything to back the "entrepreneurial mindset" claim. Read the Resume Best Practices section of this site, but definitely focus on PARs and SARs. The Creativity section could help you develop some of the new content.

The "Day Trader" experience may say "Unemployed" to some, but you may have no choice. If possible, can you show any consulting experience, even in temp jobs? That coupled with PARs and SARs in that period would look better.

You've had three promotions at Company B, but the way you show it makes it looks like four separate jobs, a sign of a job hopper. It also loses the opportunity to highlight that you were promoted three times. Accordingly, show the four job titles, but name the company only once.

You also have to decide what you want to be when you grow up, or at least you want to be when applying for a specific job. This is a general resume, but hopefully you modify each resume to fit the job you are seeking. Prioritize the experience that fits the job requirements and change some of the wording to mirror the job ad. Modify other experience for the context of the job. For instance, for a Financial Analyst position, it's very useful to highlight SOX, but more from a process perspective and less from an auditing perspective.

You shouldn't just be looking at job ads, but you should be networking, conducting informational interviews, looking for companies that has needs for anything unusual that you offer such as "Possess Nexus-level enhanced government security clearance for expedited border crossings." Since you possess a breadth of experience, you should also be looking for positions at smaller companies that often have a greater need for accomplished generalists.

A paradigm shift may be in order. You should also be exploring ways to start your own business. Perhaps you can try to focus on obtaining small consulting jobs or temp agency jobs. Not only does it generate a little cash, but they could lead to other opportunities. Some people have had success in creating jobs that companies didn't know they need.

I mentioned networking, but that can't be mentioned enough because it's your most important tool. One of our creativity exercises, Personal Memory Support System, not only helps improve your resume, but is a terrific non-intimidating way to network with your past.

.

Nice job Sam! You make it look so easy. Too some extent for you it is easy because you have obvious and well defined accomplishments, some that even have recognition in the form of awards. That said, you obviously did your homework. Several of your acomplishments show that you have mastered the art of the PAR/SAR.

For the rest of us it can be more difficult pinpointing our accomplishments. That's where Resume Remodel's creativity tips come in.

To anyone reading this, you should note that Sam has a blog where he has written a few excellent articles on networking. He also has an interesting article called "Resume Reading 101: What the Recruiters are Saying…". It makes a strong case that all resumes should be sent in Word .doc format, preferably from Word 2003 or earlier.

Samuel Diener

I am a creative and entrepreneurial direct sales professional with an impeccable track record in high-volume, extremely competitive sales environments. I have a longstanding history of generating top revenues within just weeks of hire.

My experience includes a 5-year background as a paramedic, working within stressful, deadline-driven situations
where being a quick thinker and fast learner is mandatory.

——————————————————————————————————————SALES EXPERIENCE

Sales Associate ï Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Philadelphia, PA, 2007 – 2009

I excelled through Enterprise’s 45-person management training program due to my friendly yet aggressive nature, transitioning into talented 23-person airport sales team in April 2008.

v Jumped to #1 ranking within 2 months and held position in top 10 reps for rest of 2008, due to upselling record and unparalleled ability to generate corporate leads.

v Joined the esteemed “Best of the Best” program within 5 months, competing with 50 top-selling reps out of the 4,000+ total regional sales staff.

v Quadrupled the company baseline for both corporate accounts and car sales, generating 15-20 leads per month in each category.

v Helped Airport “best of the best” team score top national ranking in customer service, by serving as a key player in the busiest office in Philadelphia, unloading 400-500 cars per day.

v Became a household name at Enterprise after forming and moderating a LinkedIn Group attracting over 1,800 members, including participation from top executives.

Sales & Marketing Intern ï AFLAC, Baltimore, MD, Fall 2006

Interned with well-known insurance policy provider to develop and refine skills in marketing, networking, and consultative selling. Approached and qualified cold and warm leads via AFLAC’s inside sales program.

v Won Super-Fast Start Award for generating $10,000 in first 12 weeks, setting company record for the most money generated by a new recruit.

v Grossed $20,000 in sales contracts in 1 quarter.

Earlier Sales Achievement

I grossed $1 million in one year for Sears & Roebuck, setting company record while still in high school, surpassing 10 other sales reps in Electronics, including staff with twice as much sales experience.

——————————————————————————————————————————— PREVIOUS

Paramedic ï LifeStar Response, Transcare, & Rural Metro, Baltimore, MD, 2002-2007

Prior to shifting into Sales full-time, served as a Critical Care Paramedic, confidently and gracefully handling highly stressful cases involving trauma, cardiac arrest, and extreme illness. Earned and maintained over 10 certifications and licenses—and interfaced daily with physicians and nurses— to assist with medical decisions.

—————————————————————————————————————————— EDUCATION

BS in Emergency Health Services & Management, University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC)

· Graduated magna cum laude from this business-focused healthcare program.

· Won Presidential Fellows 4-Year Scholarship, UMBC and LCA Alumni Association Leadership Scholarships, and Golden Key International Honor Society status.

W.K. Kellogg Foundation’s Leadership Program, LeaderShape Insitute, Frederick, MD

· Nominated as 1 of 40 students out of 12,000 for this nationally recognized program covering strategic planning, resource allocation, task delegation, & team motivation.

Post-Baccalaureate Business Courses, Howard Community College, Columbia, MD

· Honed skills in accounting, business management, public speaking, and entrepreneurship.

· Won first place in Entrepreneurship Contest for conceptualizing and pitching a home-inventorying solution to a roomful of 300 successful business leaders.

—————————————————————————————————————————— SOFTWARE

Proficient in MS Office 2007, Windows XP, Linux, Network Security and Administration,
C++, Dreamweaver, Flash, Illustrator, PHP, and Java. Certified in A+.

Hi Bunky,

It's much more effective for us to comment on resumes that are written based on the resume writing advice on this site. Otherwise, useful analysis of the resume would have to be ten times as long as the resume.

All sections are relevant, but please pay special attention to Chronological, Functional or Combo, Profiles and PARs/SARs. To develop content, the creativity section can also be important.

That said, choose a Functional format. The Chronological, Functional or Combo article will explain how.

Your resume should focus on reasons to hire you so unless you apply for any jobs that involve child-care, there is no need to mention the stay at home dad bit. Don't run away from it in an interview (never lie!), but even then try to be prepared to mention it in context of how it helped prepare you for the job. For example, in a custodial type of job you could mention how your deeper appreciation for the effects of germs effects how thoroughly you clean.

Collecting too much resume content is good. You can then choose the best or more appropriate parts later. Keep in mind, even though this is a general purpose resume, it should be customized to fit individual job applications. Having a vast store of content to choose from makes that easier.

We're looking forward to seeing the next version.

Thank you for first revising your resume according to our best practices advice before posting it. You did a pretty nice job.

The profile should be reworded so that you use the word "best" only once.

At your career stage, it's not easy to come-up with accomplishments but you still managed. In your field it's difficult to use metrics, but it would still be better if you could add results to any of the accomplishments that approximate the measurable. For example, would it be possible to say something along the lines of: "Improved the learning experience by planning and managing activities, as was noted in positive feedback from parents."

Some of your word choices and grammer could use improvement and some of the action verbs could be stronger. I'd rewrite some of the accomplishments as follows, but these and the other accomplishment could use more improvement:

• Maximized enjoyment and minimized conflict as a leader and chaperone on field trips.
• Improved the learning experience by planning and managing activities.
• Promoted to a position as a key team member through hard work and excellent customer service.

Some of the other wording seems stilted and possibly included to only have filler. If you only have two worthwhile bullet points, don't try to come up with three. Part of the point to listing the jobs at your career stage is to show that you're industrious so just listing the job achieves that goal.

Place Related Experience before Professional experience and change "Professional Experience" to "Other Experience", otherwise the perception of the Related Experience is diminished. Also, since your education is not related, move that section to before computer skills. If you graduated, mention the degree.

There's not enough white space. You could reduce the vertical space required by combining the experience headings into one line. Also, if the font is more than 10 points try reducing it half a point or try the other format suggestions. Add a line below Teachers Assistant and the vertcial lines should all have a blank line above and below. Shift the address right so that the zip code right aligns with the horizontal lines.

Feel free to post the revised version.

The profile is pretty good, but you don't need the word "Student" in the title.

Given your newness to the workplace, it's hard to have substantive accomplishments. You obviously tried, but missed the mark because none of the accomplishments relate to engineering. Your first two duties as your last job ("Drafted and reviewed engineering drawings and specifications." and "Assisted in the creation of formal project proposals.") could probably be changed to accomplishments, even if you are sharing in others' accomplishments. See the 'A SAR that leverages a company achievement' section towards the bottom of Powerful Resumes use PARs and SARs for an example.

Check out the creativity techniques to come up with other accomplishments, especially the Personal Memory Support System page. Since you're in college, you could probably trow a hell of a resume party.

Hello Estwaina,

I actually did read Best Practices, and a good number of the other sections, although not the Creativity and Personal Memory sections, which I will take some time with this morning.  I will be devoting time today simply trying to reduce this monster, and go forward with most basic description of job assignment with accomplishments noted for each position and see where that leaves me.

Again, thank you.  Pattye

I can't say that I read it and neither will any hiring manager. Too long, to dense - it requires me to draw conclusions that you should be providing.

Given that you consider education your weakest point, you should make it the last section so they have a chance to want you before rejecting you for an inadequate education.

You don't need every little task, but you need accomplishments. There's a good reason that the site requests that you read the Best Practices section first and make a good faith effort to first modify your resume accordingly before posting it.

You have the makings of a one page resume, by leading with 6-8 accomplishments and then list a brief (1-2 sentence description of your main duties) of each job followed by skills and education. The accomplishments section should start with your most obvious strength - job stability with 5 promotions in 12 years. That screams 'valuable employee'.

Check out the creativity section on how to get ideas for accomplishments. Especially, check out the Personal Memory Support System page. It will also provide a great boost to your networking.

Greetings to what I assume are fellow unemployed folks,

For the first time in 12 years,  I am unemployed.  Having no degree, yet having 12 years experience in a specific field, Desing/Construction/Facilities Management, am finding now that it may be difficult to remain in that field. I'm concerned over the resume I've put together, but am stuck on how, or more accurately what to trim off.

My resume is too long, I know this and I need advice as to what to remove.  Feeling as if  I have to rely strictly on experience in having moved up in a University environment, achieving a better salary with each promotion, but starting out as an Admin. Assistant.

Am afraid if I take things out it will appear sketchy, but I also know I am stressed enough to need some objective advice on this document and how best to downsize it and deliver my skill set effectively.   Alot of the jobs are similar and the increasing level of responsibility may not be coming across.

I've taken out the name of the University here, as it seemed I should, and am grateful for any feedback any of you could provide me.

Thank you.  I feel sheepish even sending this off, it's 4 pages.

Pattye Mc

Gulp... here goes.....

Summary: Offering 12-years experience administration and field support to Capital Projects with extensive experience in Facilities Operations & Building Management. Seeking a position that will best utilize my current skill set, allowing me to continue work in a fast paced, dynamic environment which I thoroughly enjoy.

Education: 1-Year XXXXXX XXXXXXX

Early Childhood Education Program

University XXXXXXXXXXXX Certificate Programs:

Supervising Contract Employees (2003)

Labor Compliance (2003)

Work History: University xx XXXXXXXXXX~ January 1996 through June 2009

December 2006 – June 26, 2009

XXXXXXXXXX

Design & Construction, Project Management Services, Project Analyst

· Provide support to Director and multiple Project Managers in demanding day-to-day construction project atmosphere. Generate reports on demand; utilize MS Access database developed for project and maintenance tracking, data tables included for every aspect of project. Draft reports detailing specific parameters of information required, ex. fiscal year total of soft costs funded for capital projects; create list of contractors selected over specific time period awarded contracts over $500,000; change order cost details on contracts over $500,000.

· Responsible for Capital Projects database upkeep; coordinate monthly collection/confirmation of detailed project data for an average 125 active projects per month with data specific to Sr. Leadership reporting needs. Oversee accuracy and efficiency of broadly based and continuously changing distribution list. Created original distribution list for monthly project status report, notifying a broad spectrum of campus staff for which the information is pertinent during various phases of project progress.

· Develop, manage and maintain audit documentation process detailing auxiliary project costs; track and verify ongoing project budget expenditures including equipment purchases; perform budget reconciliations in collaboration with Project Managers.

· Troubleshoot budget issues; locate erroneous charges, ex. double-billing, material/labor charges posted to wrong projects; labor charges posted when appropriate funding stream not used, equipment billing from outside vendors not a match for quoted costs, etc. Recouped more than 3 times my salary in the first 18-month period after beginning this process.  Process was not in place at the time I joined the department yet critically needed.

· Make referrals/proposals for improvement to project process’ involving multiple departments with various levels of contribution to capital projects. Directly responsible for recent Director level evaluation of Facilities charges to projects and the establishment of protocols for custodial and Facilities support labor hours being charged to projects. This came as a result of repeatedly identifying volumes of labor hours charged to projects that were inappropriate to project scope. Researched and resolved with credit made to projects.

· Draft and install to department website a monthly campus-wide project status report.

· Draft procedure documents in MS Word and MS PowerPoint for training Administrative staff in use of project management software and various target reports.

· Interact effectively with a broad spectrum of campus professionals, contractors, and vendors, providing support as needed to suit a multitude of scenarios.

· October 2008 - relocated to Mid-West, continuing my employment with XXXX via remote access. Oversee project management database producing draft version of Sr. Leadership project reports for PM review, edits and approval prior to final distribution by Director of Finance.

· Due to current budget dilemma in XXXXXXXXXX this position was amended effective 06/27/09, resulted in my electing to remain in Mid-West. Having now retired from the XXXXXXXXXX , I am seeking a similar position in the XXXXXX, XC area.

December 2003 – December 2006

XXXXXXXXXX

Capital Projects & Facilities Management

Facilities Coordinator / Analyst

· Maintenance Coordinator for XXXX owned and leased properties. Areas of responsibility comprised of office space, common areas, conference rooms, research labs and animal care facilities, totaling approximately 2-million square feet.

· Supervise 3 teams of contracted Stationary Engineers, various XXXX Crafts employees and 2 Administrative Assistants, totaling 15 staff.

· Solicit competitive bids as appropriate; prepare vendor contract requests, direct repair efforts for urgent and emergency situations, on time and materials basis when required.

· Experience with development of Capital Project budgets addressing urgently needed deferred maintenance projects for consideration of approval by Sr. Management.

· Coordinate day-to-day, after-hours, emergency building maintenance operations efforts.

· Interact daily with building occupants; defining project needs while maintaining adherence to Campus Policy & Procedure; state and local building codes; Fire and Life Safety codes;  Public Contracting Code.

· Create and maintain detailed filing systems for official department records.

· Called upon to perform duties of Support Analyst to Central Utilities Plant and Elevator Maintenance Program as the result of a retirement within the organization. Provided purchasing, contract requests, meeting scheduling, arranging for and tracking requirements for Engineers certifications and health clearances.

· Verify Engineering labor hours to HR administration assigned to this contract.

· Elevator Maintenance Program required full attendance during the annual state inspection of all campus elevator cars and machine rooms. Maintain appropriate documentation files for each elevator car, OSHA records and repair orders from State.

· Scheduled elevator repairs for UCXX hospitals and XXXXXXXXX Campus. Review repair estimates for coverage under current contract agreement or arrange for specific contract repairs. Oversee and approve payment schedule for invoicing of contracted work. Reports on demand to XXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX  and UCXX Facilities.

· Accepted promotional opportunity with XXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXX.

March 2003 – December 2003

University XXXXXXXXXX

Physical Planning

Project Management Analyst

· Assist in leading the first on-site team of Physical Planning staff to occupy job site offices facilitating the construction of the University’s newest campus.

· Responsible for the creation and implementation of official Master Project Records Management and archive system; correlating record system to XX Office of the President’s Facilities Management requirements. This included the existing five projects as well as organizing the backlog of historical documents at the Campus Planning stage establishing the Campus program and defining the overall scope of work.

· Assist Management Services Officer in establishing process and procedures for the operation of the University Physical Planning Department in an environment that was in development while simultaneously being fully functional and responsible to the University community and overall XX policy.

· Utilize Construction Management software Prolog; generate design and construction meeting minutes for project record and distribution.

· Having completed the UC XXXXXX Master File project, this site did not offer the position or atmosphere I was seeking, returned to UCXX.

August 2002 – March 2003

XXXXXXXXXX

Facilities Operations, Mission Bay Campus

Assistant Building Manager /Analyst

· Serve as member of small, focused team taking occupancy of newly completed five-story research and administration building. Prepare to receive an additional four buildings as construction completed.

· Work daily with team of Stationary Engineers, Project Managers and independent Contractors.

· Document and resolve building and occupant concerns on an ongoing and constantly changing priority basis. Ensure contracted services are received in full and at contracted cost.

· Coordinate and document start-up operations; capital project transition to owner operations; work closely with Project Management, Construction Management Team General Contractors and sub-contractors on project completion items.

· Provide equipment and tool purchasing; assist Chief Engineer with Preventive Maintenance program start-up and documentation.

· Coordinate work/schedules with on-site contractors addressing both warranty issues and ongoing construction items.

· Track time and materials for start up and beyond, submitted detailed start-up cost reporting to Senior Management.

· Prepare for building occupancy under strict schedule parameters.

· Supervise Office, Security and Custodial Staff.

· Accepted promotional opportunity at new XX Campus construction site.

January 2002 – August 2002

XXXXXXXXXX

Maintenance Operations

Facilities Analyst

· Provide immediate support to Building Manager on XXXXXXXXX Campus resolving day-to-day building, grounds and occupant issues.

· Manage projects with a scope up to $50k.

· Supervise Team of Craftsmen, Custodians, and Administrative Assistants.

· Organize daily work distribution

· Schedule in-house and contracted maintenance projects maintaining strict budget parameters.

· Submit detailed maintenance project requests for review and approval by Management.

· Interface constantly with contractors, vendors and campus clients to achieve desired results of project scope while maintaining XXXX protocol and procedures.

· Materials and equipment purchasing as required.

· Draft Employee Evaluations for Management review and approval.

· Review and approve daily time sheet reporting for accuracy and appropriate funding

· Document PM Program progress on monthly basis.

· Provide full spectrum of customer service to all campus departments under team assignment.

· Work diligently at creating a positive experience for all customers engaging with Capital Projects & Facilities Management Operations.

· Transferred to XXXXXXX XXX Campus by request of Director of Operations.

February 2000 – January 2002

XXXXXXXXXX

Capital Projects & Facilities Management

Project Management Analyst

· Provide support to Project Managers in various stages of design and construction at the XXX XXXXXXX XXX Campus. Responsible for project start-up documents, initiation of funding requests, various design and construction contract requests, transmittals to Design Professionals, Construction Managers, vendors, XX departments and clients.

· Manage multiple project tracking systems, input and maintain accurate data, adjust or reconcile budgets as needed.

· Initiate work orders to facilitate project needs at various levels and stages of progress.

· Create and maintain distribution records as appropriate, create master project file systems.

· Responsible for producing fiscal year quarterly project tracking reports to XXXX Management.

· Responsible to project clients for all customer related needs, project updates and budget status reports, equipment ordering, schedule and coordinate meetings, take minutes for record and distribution.

· Accepted promotional opportunity in Facilities Management.

Additional Experience and Skills:

· 1997- Recipient of Recognition Award from the University XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX Vice Chancellor’s Office in Recognition of Distinctive and Extraordinary Contributions for the 1997-98 year. This award was specific to having quantified and updated an operations process that considerably reduced labor hours to achieve the specific desired result; a more efficient Utilities Shutdown Coordination process.

· 2008 - Recipient of Recognition Award, “Star Thanks Program”, annually acknowledging 100 Staff Members of the XXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXX Community for “Kindness and Service”.

· Excellent communication skills, written and verbal.

· Able to interact effectively with high-level administrators and a broad spectrum of individuals at all levels.

· Able to work under pressure, responding to requests at all levels of priority, maintain professional atmosphere in the face of conflicting priorities, experience maintaining multiple computer screens, phone lines and Motorola two way radios with 10+ channel frequency.

· Identify, analyze and provide appropriate solutions to problems;

· Reconcile internal plant charges at customer request.

· Experience working from various University transaction logs to verify and reconcile data.

· Knowledgeable in use of Windows XP environment, implementing specialized databases tracking work orders, Capital Project data, preventive maintenance programs, purchasing, invoicing, contracts, labor hours posting and materials posting.

· Experience in use of Construction Management software; Buzzsaw, Prolog.

· Experience with daily or frequent use of MS Office Word, MS Access, MS Excel, MS PowerPoint, MS Project, Adobe Software, Dreamweaver, MS SharePoint, Pagemaker, MS Outlook Mail and Calendar.

· Often called upon to learn and be functional with new software simultaneously.

Hi Allison,

Welcome to Resume Remodel. Usually we would ask you to repost your resume with the contact details removed, but since you also have it posted on your site, the reason for our policy is not relevant in your case.

I agree that your issues are a bit different and your sparse approach seems appropriate. In many ways your titles, tasks and duties seem like impressive accomplishments unto themselves. However, I don't know your industry so I have no insight as to what an executive that hires you would be seeking. You should look at the PARs and SARs page to see if you can be more explicit about your accomplishments.

Your bigger problem may be how you're networking. From the little I know, networking seems more important in your industry that most. Our new Personal Memory Support System creativity exercise could help develop accomplishments while jump starting your networking activities.

I'd be interested in seeing your changes.

You should substitute Summary with this headline: Media Relations and Project  Management Professional.

It still seems too dense and hard to wade through. More white space would help. How much of your tasks are just what would be normally expected out of the job vs notable accomplishments? The expected tasks shouldn’t be included because they detract from the notable ones, and the notable ones usually imply the other skills. For example, this rewritten PAR seems to include the territory covered by the tracking system for departmental order activity.

Reduced departmental spending by $360K annually, consistently coming in under budget, by modifying purchasing procedures to emphasize quality without compromising performance, creating a back up system for radio recordings and reducing payroll costs.

Both your first & second PARs do not need “monthly and quarterly” – it’s just extra verbiage with no value. You probably have more of those. Try this exercise – reduce the number of words in each point by 20% while retaining the meaning. 

The 2% metric is too small to be worth mentioning. It seems a little desperate, so I'd eliminate "by 2%".

This is an improved resume, but you can probably still do better. The new Personal Memory Support System creativity exercise would help tremendously and give a real boost to you networking activities at the same time.