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Welcome - How to use this board - Please Read   by  on 2009-05-20 08:33:21
 Subject :Resume for review.. 2010-07-09 21:30:26 
ohtribute
Joined: 2010-07-09 21:24:59
Posts: 1
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Any help would be greatly appreciated!   Thanks in advance!!!!!

Attachments (pdf or rtf files only)
 FORUM_resume.pdf [34 KB] ::
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 Subject :Re: Resume for review.. 2010-07-12 14:43:08 
OpenlyAnonymous
Joined: 2009-04-22 15:38:17
Posts: 18
Location: Wrong Coast

I’m sure that Homer would approve of the anonymous name - Doh. Smile

In most respects the resume is pretty good. Unfortunately, that does not include the most important respect - PARs and SARs. You use some PARs and SARs, but they could be much stronger, especially with regard to metrics. Fortunately you have plenty of ammunition. Here's an example:

Original:

Assisted in reforming HS ITD organizational structure resulting in better workflow and chain of command.

Improved Version (use real numbers):

Facilitated reform of IT organizational structure resulting in 20% reduced handling and more rational chain of command.

I made a few other changes besides the metrics to make points that might not be appropriate here, so feel free to change them back. "Assist" is a weak action verb, but if you can't find a better one it's adequate. "Facilitate" isn't the strongest of verbs either, but better than "assist". I replaced "HS ITD" jargon with "IT", which is meaningful to most people. You have to be the judge if that's an appropriate change in your circumstances.

Here's a bullet point that is just begging to be turned into a PAR/SAR. You are always expected to do your job, but accomplishing something is always more impressive.

Project manager of $2M IT desktop service migration of a newly acquired hospital.

This would be much better:

Project manager of $2M IT desktop service migration of a newly acquired hospital brought in 100% within budget.

Actually that's not much of an accomplishment and "100%" is redundant, but with IT projects, staying within budget is not always easy. It would be much better if you could add something like "...despite encountering significant unanticipated difficulties." (Be prepared to describe the difficulties in an interview). Of course, if the reality is 90% of budget, use it!

The most important other shortcoming is the lack of a headline. How about " ITD Manager" or in light of my previous comment about jargon how about "IT Manager??

Stylistically you have a little room for improvement. "Personal Statement" should be "Profile" or "Summary". If you prefer, the section doesn't even need a title. You should also double space the line after section titles.

Please feel free to post the new and improved version.

 

 

Fortunately you have plenty of ammunition.
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Openly Anonymous
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