Could you please critique my resume and give me some advice to improve it? I copied it below and attached it. I can see the dates seem in the wrong place, but on my actual resume, they are to the right of the company.

RESUME WRITER

15 Someroad Rd.

Someplace, NJ 08888

Home # 732-555-5555

E-mail: aaaaa@yahoo.com

Johnson & Johnson World Headquarters; New Brunswick, N.J. 2007-2008

Financial Analyst

§ Managed 90 corporate international affiliates accounts receivable, payable, intercompany billing, and account analyses; developed on-going procedures resulting in reduction of past due receivables by 28%

§ Executed the monthly closings, including preparation of all journal entries in the SAP system, monthly reconciliation statements, and SOX compliance; researched and identified variances; devised proactive measures to resolve and minimize out of balance positions

§ Analyzed and researched account discrepancies and communicated the results in writing to the international affiliates

American Express Publishing Corp. New York, N.Y. 1993-2005

Business Manager

§ Developed and modeled strategic re-forecasts, the annual budget, and five-year, long range strategic plan for three business units

§ Analyzed the monthly results; identified risks/opportunities and drove specific business resolutions

§ Structured and analyzed complex business analysis issues and developed actionable recommendations; e.g. maximizing customer retention level strategies

§ Identified and sized expense control opportunities: e.g. initiated multi title print order reductions by modifying the shipment schedules and utilizing recycled return book shipments resulting in $175k annual production savings

Operations Manager

§ Managed and analyzed the operation dynamics and performance of the continuity book programs

§ Modeled and statistically projected the chief drivers of the continuity book programs

§ Launched new operation strategies, resulting in $200k annual savings

Senior Accountant

§ Responsible for the monthly closings, intensive account and inventory analyses

§ Prepared and analyzed the monthly financial packages for two business units, including financial statements, variance analyses to forecast and budget, and financial trends and projections

§ Consolidated the division’s seven business units monthly P&L’s for reporting to Corporate, including composing the monthly commentaries, facilitating Senior Management’s variance explanations to budget

§ Researched and documented the accounting versus operation activities on the Continuity Book business unit, identifying substantial discrepancies resulting in a retroactive accounting restatement restoring reserve provisions totaling $280k

Interview Magazine (Div of Brant Publications) New York, N.Y. 1991-1993

Staff Accountant

§ Handled the monthly closings; generated the monthly financial statements and complete balance sheet account analyses

§ Devised the business unit’s break-even analysis, monthly cash flow statements, quarterly forecasts, and annual operating budget

EDUCATION

Pace University New York, N.Y., BBA Accounting

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT SKILLS

Microsoft Excel, Word, PowerPoint & Outlook, SAP, QuickBooks, Walker, Cognos Impromptu, Ariba

Hi Benn11,

Welcome to Resume Remodel. I removed personally identifiable information and moved your resume to the correct category. I chose this category because you seem to be trying to stay in the same field. If you're looking for a different kind of job, let me know and I'll move your topic to Careers In Transition.

You take a stab at accomplishments, but not in the PARs/SARs paradigm. Again see best practices. One of the issues is that sometimes you mix duties with accomplishments, including in your first bullet. The second phrase is a great opportunity for a PAR/SAR, such as "Reduced past-due receivables by 28% by developing new procedures, despite the pressures of a poor business environment." Obviously, I made part of that up so you should change the situation.

You have several obvious opportunities for nice PARs/SARs. Here's a couple, but there are more:
- devised proactive measures to resolve and minimize out of balance positions
- ... maximizing customer retention level strategies

The Financial Analyst title seems a bit misleading. If I'm not mistaken, it diminishes the value of your position. If true, a functional title would provide better communication. (See Dos and Don'ts).

Some of the writing could be tighter. You have unnecessary phrases that don't add insight such as "and communicated the results in writing to the international affiliates." You already mention that you work with international affiliates and everyone would assume that you had to communicate the results. In general, if something is expected, don't bother mentioning it. Another example of something that could be tighter is "Consolidated the division's seven business units...". The reader only needs "Consolidated seven business units..."

"continuity book programs" seems to be industry specific jargon, which is best avoided when possible. Even understandable industry specific concepts isn't necessary.

Some of your action verbs are weak, such as "Handled". See the 500 verbs section in Best Practices.

Here's a changed bullet that deals with all of your typical issues - PARs/SARs, the need for tighter writing and industry specific concepts, weak verbs: "Reduced annual production costs by $175k while managing an expense control program that also resulted in other significant savings." Side note - did you mean "seized" instead of "sized"?

Its hard to be sure about the real formatting in your document, but the Company Name and titles seem too big.

I hope this helps. Feel free to post the next draft for additional commentary.