Resume Remodel Community
Board Index Latest Posts Welcome Guest   [Register]  [Login]
Welcome - How to use this board - Please Read   by  on 2009-05-20 08:33:21
 Subject :My resume for your critique.. 2009-05-06 10:31:19 
Robert Waltner
Joined: 2009-05-05 16:12:05
Posts: 2
Location: 
I would greatly appreciate all coments that would improve my resume.

Attachments (pdf or rtf files only)
 r.wa2.pdf [92 KB] ::
IP Logged
Robert Waltner - Whatever it Takes
 Subject :Re:My resume for your critique.. 2009-05-06 10:39:14 
estawina
Joined: 2009-05-05 16:20:09
Posts: 18
Location: 
Nice resume. Good use of PARS and SARS. My first reaction was "whoa, much too long", but after realizing that the last page is an addendum with a long list of publications, that opinion changed. I still think it could be cut somewhat, but not extensively. 

I'm not sure if I'm in love with your tag line, "WHATEVER IT TAKES". Not that I have a better suggestion. It just doesn't evoke a vision of a disciplined engineer. However, saying that you are committed and always get the job done is a good thing. Hey, how about "ALWAYS GETTING THE JOB DONE"? Okay, well that may not be so great either. 

Your profile paragraph is just much too long. It's an impenetrable block of words that will not penetrate the readers' visual wall during the first 20 second scan. Not enough overview and too much detail. Much of the content is a list of skills that should be placed further down is a skills section. Bullet and space them so they are easy to scan. Leave the degrees to the Education section. Nobody is looking for them in the profile and if they are a job requirement, they will be assumed. 

Often you are conceptually redundant. If you mention "Department of Defense/NASA", there is no need to say "MIL STANDARDS" (why all caps?) which belongs in the skills section. You also say "with regard to manufacturing processes", "making improvements in manufacturing processes" and then later in the same list "manufacturing processes". Just once saying "Expert in all aspects of manufacturing processes" is enough. If you expand that to "Expert in all aspects of developing and managing manufacturing processes", you could also probably eliminate several other more specific tasks that fall under that umbrella. "Total quality systems" is the kind of concept that should stand out, not get buried in a list. It's more than a phrase, it's a name and a very desirable skill so you should capitalize it, "Total Quality Systems". You have a wide set of engineering skills that are scattered in a way that provides no impact. Pull them together in a phrase that includes "process, design and production engineering". That also cuts out two uses of the word "engineering". Perhaps you should use that in the resume title instead. 

The major problem with your publications addendum is that it could be lost in the shuffle. The list makes you appear impressive and a top expert in your field. If the reader was aware of that from the beginning, they will probably pay more careful attention to your resume from the start. The profile should include something along the lines of "Twenty articles published (see addendum)." 

The quantity of jobs is not a positive. Maybe you could create a category of "Contract Positions" in the job history to reduce the job hopping impression. 

As I said earlier, you have strong PARS/SARS. You may want to review to cut out a little of the fat in the wording and concepts that don?t add strength. Also sentences should start with action verbs as much as possible. Here's an example: 

Your version:
Quote:
Reduced the risk of customer dissatisfaction previously expressed regarding test reporting protocol. Created a report protocol that professionally presented Environmental Stress Screening test results. This resulted in an extended contract for $325,000 and additional income of $75,000 from the sale of test reports sold as research papers. (sold at $750/copy).

On a diet:
Reduced customer dissatisfaction on test reporting protocol by creating a protocol that professionally presented Environmental Stress Screening test results. Resulted in a contract extension of $325,000 and additional income of $75,000 from reports sold as research papers. 

IP Logged
Esteban

Business Manager
Solving problems and driving growth
Page # 


Powered by ccBoard

Additional Information

Please Support Our Sponsors
Going on a job interview?
Networking in person?
Get a business card.
Don't forget the tagline!

VistaPrint USA Inc.
Please Support Our Sponsors
Throwing a
Resume Party?
Use a Pulse
LiveScribe Pulse